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My mind is ablaze with madness. I have had a rather difficult few weeks, I really struggled to compose this track, and in the end this was all improvised, then collected & re-interpreted & turned into what ever this song is.. More than anything this was just collecting a bunch of miserable frequencies rather than any type of song. That's how it feels. I wrote 5 or 6 sets of lyrics and they are just insane rambling. I was reading suicide letters and tried to include something from them to help honor and validate these poor lost individuals who chose to give up. None are directly quoted but absorbed and folded in.
I used a microphone in the studio to feedback into the recording to emulate the sound of the screaming metal of a passing train as it narrowly misses you. I miss walking along the train lines at night.
I used this, along with drowning everything(almost) in chorus & reverb straight from my mixer to tape, also purposefully including clipping and blown out audio to curate the awful hopeless, last ditch, atmosphere.
I want to give up on music, I have before. I don't think trying to absorb my misery and then turn it into something else is useful.
but I don't know what else to do.
And its called Necrophilia because I'm the dead one fucking itself.
I ruined many good opportunities. I'm addicted to misery.
Maybe I should have called it Auto-Necrophilia?
There is nothing left that i ever want to see
my dreams are dead
there is nothing to achieve
god is dead
there is nothing to believe
No help is coming
no one will ever miss me.
I just want to be
someone else
please god
save me from myself
give me a drug
that feels as good
as blood
its the perfect drug
there is no drug
as good as blood
if there ever was a god
i need you to know
that i need you now
save me from myself
there is nothing left
that i ever wish to see
my dreams are dead
there is nothing to achieve
god is dead
there is nothing to believe
No help is coming
no one will ever miss me.
Darkwave synth that directly addresses our modern dystopian political environment, with proceeds going to the Voting Rights Project. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 17, 2018
